I am taking adderal xr 15 mg and i grind some up and then put in coffee.I know thats bad but as an ex druggie?

that's bad but as a ex addict { meth } that's what I do. I snort it once in a while about half my dosage.That's been my deal for 2 months.I took my LAST pill today.It makes me feel good for about 1 hour than I feel like crap.Jittery anxious sleepy makes me feel like I'm not myself at all. Even when I did it by the book I felt similar.Maybe not as Extreme but still not good. Guess me and drugs of any kind should part ways.I'm looking forward to feeling normal whatever that is again any thoughts out there ??