Was I ually abused?

I don't think this is really something that can be answered on this website, there is some serious stuff going on in your head, and weather or not you need to blame someone for what happened, you need to talk about it!!!! You need to talk with a councilor or therapist. You will really regret not taking care of this now when you are young, there can be soooo many issues even later on in life. Take care of this NOW and talk to someone!